Goodbye on the Missouri

The final hugs had been given, final pictures were snapped,
Final words that assured 'next time' would come;
But like the sun to the eyes of a man who'd been blind
It suddenly struck him that his race had been run.

There were no words to be spoken, only long, strong embraces
Between the grown son and his aged father.
If he didn't let go, perhaps he wouldn't have to die;
Perhaps death, just this one time, would not bother.

Behind them his grandchildren threw leaves on the fire
And poked sticks into a mole's hole,
As he wept on his son's neck for his joys and regrets,
The muddy waters rushing o'er his soul.

His posterity left him, calling their sincere goodbyes,
And he shuffled slowly towards the river.
A mourning dove's call proclaimed the brevity of it all,
And his sad smile began to quiver.

He remembered sunny days when his own boys were little,
Running up and down the wet sand bar,
While he fished, and he scolded, and sat watching his poles,
Never one thought of it coming this far.

The grey man now stood on the river's high bank,
Leaning heavily on his well worn cane;
The swirling muddy waters rushing onward as he wept,
His breast filled with his epiphany's pain.

Doug Boude August 18, 2005

Much More Than A River

The wide Missouri, he keeps on rollin' just like he's done forever;
The hours far spent upon his muddy shores
Join fathers and sons together.

Warm rising sun upon my face,
Sand and wind blowin' through my hair;
Heavy mornin' mist hangin' o'er the flowing water.
Turtle dove callin' in the trees,
Crane's long wings floating on the breeze. . .
All nature singing the songs God has taught her.

Remembering those happy days
I can look and see your love for me,
As you watched my pole while I played in the sand.
You let me reel the big ones in,
You let me throw the line out again;
You made me feel like daddy's little man.

And now my father dear
Our time has slipped away
Like we knew that it must from the start.
As the circle never ends, though rivers go they come again;
You will always be in my heart.
Howard Douglas Boude

The Veil

I touch you but I cannot feel you; you cannot feel me.
We look into each others eyes, but only darkly can we see.
We've known each other all our lives, and yet we're nothing more than strangers.
Hand in hand we've conquered all dangers;
And still we are not free.

Do we love each other? Without a doubt we do.
When we're apart my flutt'ring heart has it's origin in thoughts of you.
Your tenderness, your thoughtfulness, your fortitude so compelling and strong
Adorn you as a crown a queen and woo my dumb heart to song;
A song my lips can scarcely utter, 'cause my dumb heart also falters in rue.

A curtain of the sheerest of fabrics hangs continually between you and I;
With the skill of Arachne we ourselves wove it, a tapestry invisible to the eye.
Together and in solo work we wove in grudges and scorn, skein by skein;
It's a curtain full of images: figures of treachery, rivers of tears, unspeakable pain.
Through it we try desperately to touch, but 'gainst it have no strength for the vie.

What shall we do my love! To our dilemma do we ourselves resign?
Or is there victory to be had? Whatever shall be our sign?
One thing I know: true love, like our love, is predestined to prevail.
Sure as I have my life, we can o'ercome it my love; rip down this damnable veil!
With vehement indignation we must unravel it's selfish design!

...Or live out our lives in the misery of it's shadow, never truly one.

Howard Boude

Almost Beautiful

Our sunny days were warm and bright,
But when it rained, man, it poured;
When things were right they were oh, so right,
But wrong words cut us both like a sword.

We would climb each hill hand in hand,
Then fall headlong from the summit;
We talked 'bout how nothing could stop us now,
But couldn't seem to overcome it.

I'm not sure if we just didn't want to,
Or if we truly were not able;
I can't say if was me or if it was you,
Maybe our hard heads kept us back from the table.

Maybe I'll never be able to figure it out,
Maybe I'll never know why I still cry...
But I know it was almost beautiful,
It was almost so very beautiful,
Life with you could've been so beautiful...
And I'll always wish we'd tried.

Howard Douglas Boude

The Gifts Behind The Door

In happy anticipation I stand and consider
The gifts on the other side of the door.
At the hands of your courier they arrived yesterday
And were carefully placed there while I was away,
Just on the other side of this door.
Oh, I just love them already! (I told you that once before)
These wonderful tokens of your affections and love.
Be they items the world deems as trivial or light,
My heart's already ascribed to them honour and height,
These blessed reminders of your affection and love.
And now my dear, without further adieux,
It's time that I should look on the other side of this door.
And as it is with lovers and good friends
The joy of discovery never, never ends,
I go to discover the tokens from you on the other side of this door.
Whatever these gifts are that you have given me, I thank you so much!

Howard Douglas Boude

Monday June 7th, 2004

Sunrise of another day, a day unlike any other
Your burden would take your breath away,
It’s so heavy, so hard to bear…

The circle of life swung suddenly ‘round
And bore your beloved back to the angels;
In your tears and anguish your very soul would drown,
I know it’s heavy, my Brother, and so hard to bear.

Though many surely would, nobody can
Spare you your burden today;
Though I swear I would, alas I cannot,
Hurry your sorrows away.
I helplessly hold you but I can do no more than watch
The biggest heart of the greatest man I know slowly broken;
I must mend my brother’s heart! I must dry your misty eye…but there are no healing words to be spoken.

All I know to do is to be with you, my Brother, yesterday, today, and every tomorrow;
I give my heart to break with yours, I give my voice to mourn with yours, I give my eyes to cry for your sorrow;
I am with you, my Brother, in all you endure, for your burden is too heavy for one man to bear.

Forever Yours,
Doug

Howard Douglas Boude