I can't tell you how excited I was last night when I saw the previews for South Park and saw that the Disney Channel and the Jonas Brothers had found their way into the crosshairs of the South Park writers! I myself have been a long time HATER of the Disney Channel, despising its infinitely flowing pre-pubescent stream of sickening, mind numbing garbage that's as incoherent and directionless as the pre-pubescent kids who are addicted to sucking on Walt Disney's grotesque lactating channel. And so I savored every single moment of last night's South Park, shouting out as many "hoo RAH"s and "YEAH!"s as laughter.
If you didn't catch it, let me summarize it for you.
Micky Mouse is a tyrannical mobster who turns larval human beings (teenagers) into icons and idols for girls and boys who are aware that they have genitals but don't quite know what they're for just yet. He gives the closet liberals an excuse to let the TV babysit their children by coating the adolescent inuendos, potentially compromising boy-girl scenes, and "near kiddie porn" with a thin layer of "just say no". In this scenario, Micky has groomed the Jonas Brothers to get the little girls' vaginas all tingly, only to turn around and encourage those same confusedly horny pupal girls to take vows of chastity until their wedding night. The Idiot Brothers try to take a stand against Mobster Mouse only to be beaten down like the skanky ho's they are, until Micky accidentally reveals his true objectives to the general public and is rejected...at least until the closet liberals have had a night to think it over or just plain forget what they heard.
The only thing I WISH SO BADLY that this episode would have included is some reference to Hanna Montana. If only in effigy, I would PAY to see that blossoming, overrated, overpaid skank taken out of existence! There are few things in history, life, the earth, and the entire universe I could think of that have lesser value than one nanosecond of Hanna Montana and the gelatinous hodge podge of random stupidity she spews in between the artificial studio-generated laughter that erupts every 8 seconds (on average...I've timed it). And what's even more sickening is the fact that the children...the up and coming next generation...they're addicted to it. I shudder to think what the product of a general diet of Disney Channel on a daily basis will be when these kids DO hit puberty!
Yeah, you can probably tell that I despise the Disney Channel. A lot.
Disney, please just die.
Doug out.
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Brilliant stuff.
This is Doug's blog, he can damn well say whatever he wants. And, if it happens to be picked up by some aggregator you subscribe to, you are not required to read it.
Thank you.
If anybody reading this post feels compelled to give me psychiatric advice, you probably shouldn't bother. If you are willing to endure the turing spam blocker just to try and dog me, your efforts may be better spent having a heart to heart with the person in the mirror. ;)
Peace and love.
Doug :0)