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07 March 2008
For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
The following post is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to prompt any real responses from anyone. In addition, if you're truly tired of the topic of "Coldfusion is Dead", don't even waste your time reading this post. I just received a comment from a Javaphyte on an older post I had done and couldn't resist digging him a little bit, so thought I'd share it.

Javaphyte's Comment:

Re: COLDFUSION IS DEAD! So says Dave Lowe
All coldfusion is now is an oldschool scripting language being interpreted by a Java server. If you are one of those unlucky companies that wasted your money on a Coldfusion server, hire Java developers and move away from CF to Java, because you can program in Java on a CF server and it makes more sense to do so since Java is more powerful. Sure you can go the highschool programmer way and use a CFScript tag and put cheesy javascriptized java in it, but that's just asinine.
Posted by rey on March 5, 2008 at 7:40 PM

My Comment:
Re: COLDFUSION IS DEAD! So says Dave Lowe
Ah, spoken like a true Javaphyte! Perhaps there IS some hint of validity in saying that because a language is more cryptic,requires years of schooling, and more actual lines of code to accomplish a task, that it is more powerful. Or IS there validity in that observation???? Perhaps, too, the Pony Express was a more "powerful" means of disseminating the mail than is, say, email, because it required such extreme logistical prowess and sheer number of bodies to accomplish its mission? The truth is, the people who cling to the myth that their language is "more powerful" are the same kind of people who, with no valid practical reason, buy large pickup trucks: they're trying to compensate for some deep-seated, behind the scenes insecurity they harbor about themselves as a person. Because in Java I am forced to write many lines of code to connect to a database and retrieve a data set (and let's not talk about how many lines of code I might need to iterate OVER that data and actually do something with it) while in a scripted language like, say, Coldfusion, I can do it in one line, does that make Java "more powerful"??? HECK no, especially when my "dead language" is simply tapping the interfaces Java already provides me while simultaneously allowing me, if I wish, to execute Java code directly. Ah, and let's not forget the fact that in many arenas, the Javaphytes have THEMSELVES adopted the way of the "high school programmer" and have created for themselves...what? TAG LIBRARIES! Yay! Why? Because some of the Javaphytes became enlightened and began packaging up certain of Java's functions in simple to read, simple to type, simple to use...tags. And what is Coldfusion, my Javaphyte friends? It is an extremely robust tag library for Java. Now isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.

Besides being of the firm opinion that the world, when taken as a whole, is mildly retarded, I am also of the firm opinion that there are those developers out there who directly derive their own sense of self-worth from how overly complicated and complex they can make a simple task. After all, if I devise a system of pullies, ropes, and ramps to move my chair across the room, aren't I smarter than the person who simply rolls it over there by hand? In case you didn't figure it out, the answer is "No, you're not smarter than the person who just rolled it over there".

Anyway, thanks the entertaining peek into the mind of a Javaphyte, Rey! :) Oh, and be sure and avoid using any Java tag libraries...someone might see you.



Posted by dougboude at 2:40 AM | PRINT THIS POST! |Link | 6 comments
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Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
"Coldfusion is (not) Dead" topics often seem to trigger a memory of a certain scene with a Black Knight...

ARTHUR and BLACK KNIGHT:
Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm off]
ARTHUR:
Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
BLACK KNIGHT:
'Tis but a scratch.
ARTHUR:
A scratch? Your arm's off!
BLACK KNIGHT:
No, it isn't.
ARTHUR:
Well, what's that, then?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I've had worse.
ARTHUR:
You liar!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come on, you pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right arm off]
ARTHUR:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank Thee Lord, that in Thy mer--
BLACK KNIGHT:
Hah!
[kick]
Come on, then.
ARTHUR:
What?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Have at you!
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Eh. You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh, had enough, eh?
ARTHUR:
Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Yes, I have.
ARTHUR:
Look!
BLACK KNIGHT:
Just a flesh wound.
[kick]
ARTHUR:
Look, stop that.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Chicken!
[kick]
Chickennn!
ARTHUR:
Look, I'll have your leg.
[kick]
Right!
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's right leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Right. I'll do you for that!
ARTHUR:
You'll what?
BLACK KNIGHT:
Come here!
ARTHUR:
What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT:
I'm invincible!
ARTHUR:
You're a looney.
BLACK KNIGHT:
The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHT's last leg off]
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
ARTHUR:
Come, Patsy.
BLACK KNIGHT:
Oh. Oh, I see. Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!
Posted by Calvin on March 7, 2008 at 5:08 AM

Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
Dave Lowe sounds threatened. As if he's trying to justify his own skills and perhaps a reason why an employer should pay him for 5 days work when a CF programmer could acomplish the same in, what, 2 or 3 days? And of course CF comes with loads of extras (PDF, Flash remoting, FlashPaper, charts, reports, etc) that a Java programmer would have to source elsewhere and digest the developer docs on how to integrate it. As it's a piece of cake with CF you can concentrate on the end results rather than how to go about it.
Posted by Gary F on March 7, 2008 at 5:20 AM

Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
@Rey - Ignorance is bliss.
Posted by Jim Pickering on March 7, 2008 at 9:49 AM

Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
Best quote EVAR: "Besides being of the firm opinion that the world, when taken as a whole, is mildly retarded..."

LMAO

Second best:
"The truth is, the people who cling to the myth that their language is "more powerful" are the same kind of people who, with no valid practical reason, buy large pickup trucks: they're trying to compensate for some deep-seated, behind the scenes insecurity they harbor about themselves as a person."

There is a big difference between rejoicing in the "my 'tool of choice' Rocks" mentality and and "my 'tool of choice' is better than your 'tool of choice'".

The former is being enthusiastic, the latter is being insecure.
Posted by Gerald Guido on March 7, 2008 at 12:43 PM

Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
Doug,

This post inspired me to finally put into writing a rant I often make verbally, about what I call the three phases of programmer development.

http://www.webapper.net/index.cfm/2008/4/9/Three-Phases-of-Programmer-Development

To summarize: the hallmark of the professional programmer is not the complexity of the code they produce, but rather the simplicity. The "more complex is better" crowd simply hasn't been around long enough to have to maintain their complex code.
Posted by Daryl Banttari on April 9, 2008 at 5:35 PM

Re: For Your Entertainment Only: CF is Dead Dialogue
Daryl, I couldn't agree with you more! Anybody can over-complicate a matter, but it takes true intelligence to simplify it. ;)
Posted by dougboude on April 11, 2008 at 12:10 PM

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