The Boude Bunch: When Two Families Become One
Promoting family unity is an ongoing process, one that can be extremely complex, fragile, and always requiring constant vigilance and purpose. The process can be even more challenging when the family you're unifying was once two separate ones. Enter if you will into the realm of "The Steps": Step children, step parents.Not only are there the normal human social hurdles to overcome when blending lives in this scenario, but there is also the inescapable issue of the emotional fallout left over from the split of the original families.Sometimes painful, never pleasant, but a fact of life that must be faced and worked with. As challenging as they can be, though, they are not insurmountable and it is entirely possible to find smooth sailing in the wake of a divorce.
Jen and I are near the beginning of such a journey, almost seven months into it. Both of us have come somewhat bitterly out of a lengthy marriage that we entered into while teenagers, both of us have children who are the most important thing in the world to us, and both of us are deeply in love with each other and determined to blend all of these lives and souls into a family. I have seven children, she has four. Of those eleven children, two are adults and living outside the home, two live with she and I, two with her ex, and my remaining five live with their mother. The ages and sexes are as follows: 22/m, 21/m,18/f, 14/f, 14/m, 13/f, 13/f, 11/m, 11/m, 8/m, 6/f. Oh, and on top of all of this, my 22 year old son is autistic and my 18 year old daughter made me a grandpa this past January. Sounds complicated, eh?!It is, and nothing has settled down yet into anything you could call routine...it's still a very fluid situation, with bridges needed between her children and I, my children and her, and among the children themselves. I'll tell you this, though, there's a whole lot of love flowing all kinds of directions that has the tendency to allow us all to overcome the polarities and loyalties that often try to encroach upon the beautiful thing Jen and I are attempting to build for everyone. Though the going does get tough and we do suffer the occasional setback, overall we're very happy with the progress being made. To facilitate this process, Jen and I try to come up with family activities that promote unity. So, as we go through this process of evolution and growth and weaving together the lives of so many beautiful souls in our care, I'm going to make it a point to try and share some of what we learn in hopes that it might help others who are in the midst of or considering being in the midst of a similar situation.
Related posts:
Promoting Family Unity: A Weekend at the Beach!
Jen and I are near the beginning of such a journey, almost seven months into it. Both of us have come somewhat bitterly out of a lengthy marriage that we entered into while teenagers, both of us have children who are the most important thing in the world to us, and both of us are deeply in love with each other and determined to blend all of these lives and souls into a family. I have seven children, she has four. Of those eleven children, two are adults and living outside the home, two live with she and I, two with her ex, and my remaining five live with their mother. The ages and sexes are as follows: 22/m, 21/m,18/f, 14/f, 14/m, 13/f, 13/f, 11/m, 11/m, 8/m, 6/f. Oh, and on top of all of this, my 22 year old son is autistic and my 18 year old daughter made me a grandpa this past January. Sounds complicated, eh?!It is, and nothing has settled down yet into anything you could call routine...it's still a very fluid situation, with bridges needed between her children and I, my children and her, and among the children themselves. I'll tell you this, though, there's a whole lot of love flowing all kinds of directions that has the tendency to allow us all to overcome the polarities and loyalties that often try to encroach upon the beautiful thing Jen and I are attempting to build for everyone. Though the going does get tough and we do suffer the occasional setback, overall we're very happy with the progress being made. To facilitate this process, Jen and I try to come up with family activities that promote unity. So, as we go through this process of evolution and growth and weaving together the lives of so many beautiful souls in our care, I'm going to make it a point to try and share some of what we learn in hopes that it might help others who are in the midst of or considering being in the midst of a similar situation.
Related posts:
Promoting Family Unity: A Weekend at the Beach!
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