Review of "Night Listener"
Robin, RObin, RobIn...nothing personal, dude, but you really should not have done this movie. Not even your amazing acting ability could pull this one out of its own boodie.
I've seen a lot of movies, among them I've seen a whole truckfull of bad movies; but this movie, "Night Listener", has got to be the all time worst movie I've ever seen. It was a dead fish, a frigid woman, a stoned crack ho...the thing barely moved. Time passed, people moved and spoke, but NOTHING happened, ever, at all. Oh, a few times the plot's finger twitched and you were led to believe that something exciting MIGHT happen, but it never became more than a single, nervous, twitch in the story. Of all the mundane, dry, flavorless, tasteless, BORING, eventless, disappointing, "wham bam thank ya ma'am", quickie, "is it in yet?", gaggingly-horridly-lacking-in-writing-effort plots I've ever had the pain to be exposed to, this was the Uuuuultimate. Okay, every story has characters, it has a setting, it has a situation, right? Well, I'm reasonably certain that either A) the writers simply took pieces of other movies they found strewn about on the editing room floor and found a way to piece them together or B)the writers put a hundred 3x5 cards into three large fishbowls, one containing character descriptions, one containing settings, and one containing situations, and then drew out cards from each until they had a story. "Okay, we need a character. Let's see...oh, he's a radio talk show host! Good, good. Hmmm...oh! He'th gay! Hooray! Now the setting....ah, the antagonist lives in rural wisconsin! Oo, this is getting exthiting, ithn't it? D'oh! The protagonist recently broke up with his 20 something hunk of a boyfriend, but is still deeply in love with him. We can really work with that, right boyth? Wow, now here'th where it gets interesting: there's a 14 year old boy that is the antagonist, and he has been molested by his parents and others since he was little. He's dying of aids, wrote an incredibly inspiring soon-to-be-published book, and has an inordinate man-crush on this gay radio announcer. ...."
OMG. Are we not STRETCHING reality JUST A WEE BIT here????? I put all of my being into forcing my head to try and imagine that "well, MAYbe this situation could exist SOMEwhere and be real", all in the hope that at LEAST the writers will give me some action, excitement, intrigue, plot thickening, resolution...stuff like that. Did I expect too much? I don't think so. Even a bad B movie at least puts forth a lot of EFFORT to entertain me! This movie drew me in unawares, slapped me around like a bad dog, put me in the corner promising to let me out if I was good, so I was good, and then it never let me out of the corner. Suddenly it was just friggin over and I was left there, QUITE unsatisfied and knowing that some unseen writer somewhere had purposefully USED me and taken my money. I was SO disappointed...couldn't even stop saying "I can't believe it" out loud until some 30 minutes later, and now a day after I'm STILL thinking it! The plot had at least 7 points where some decently exciting turn or twist could have occurred; but no.
This movie is lame, lame, lame. Lame cubed. Lame times some logorithmic googol number to the nth degree. Unless you're truly a depressed self-masochist whose only hold on reality and life is when other people (or movies) use and abuse you, do NOT let yourself see this movie, at least not at theater prices. It will do you harm, possibly irrepairable harm.
Sheesh, any 3rd grader with half an imagination and a bottle of model glue could've written a better movie than this. The main character's last name was Noone, and his radio show motto was "This is Noone, at Night". AUGH! NOONE, HUH? What a COINCIDENCE that he's a talk show host at NIGHT. Sheesh, Hollywood, did NOBODY see what I saw? Okay, I'm done ranting. Promise.
Just my take.
Doug out.
I've seen a lot of movies, among them I've seen a whole truckfull of bad movies; but this movie, "Night Listener", has got to be the all time worst movie I've ever seen. It was a dead fish, a frigid woman, a stoned crack ho...the thing barely moved. Time passed, people moved and spoke, but NOTHING happened, ever, at all. Oh, a few times the plot's finger twitched and you were led to believe that something exciting MIGHT happen, but it never became more than a single, nervous, twitch in the story. Of all the mundane, dry, flavorless, tasteless, BORING, eventless, disappointing, "wham bam thank ya ma'am", quickie, "is it in yet?", gaggingly-horridly-lacking-in-writing-effort plots I've ever had the pain to be exposed to, this was the Uuuuultimate. Okay, every story has characters, it has a setting, it has a situation, right? Well, I'm reasonably certain that either A) the writers simply took pieces of other movies they found strewn about on the editing room floor and found a way to piece them together or B)the writers put a hundred 3x5 cards into three large fishbowls, one containing character descriptions, one containing settings, and one containing situations, and then drew out cards from each until they had a story. "Okay, we need a character. Let's see...oh, he's a radio talk show host! Good, good. Hmmm...oh! He'th gay! Hooray! Now the setting....ah, the antagonist lives in rural wisconsin! Oo, this is getting exthiting, ithn't it? D'oh! The protagonist recently broke up with his 20 something hunk of a boyfriend, but is still deeply in love with him. We can really work with that, right boyth? Wow, now here'th where it gets interesting: there's a 14 year old boy that is the antagonist, and he has been molested by his parents and others since he was little. He's dying of aids, wrote an incredibly inspiring soon-to-be-published book, and has an inordinate man-crush on this gay radio announcer. ...."
OMG. Are we not STRETCHING reality JUST A WEE BIT here????? I put all of my being into forcing my head to try and imagine that "well, MAYbe this situation could exist SOMEwhere and be real", all in the hope that at LEAST the writers will give me some action, excitement, intrigue, plot thickening, resolution...stuff like that. Did I expect too much? I don't think so. Even a bad B movie at least puts forth a lot of EFFORT to entertain me! This movie drew me in unawares, slapped me around like a bad dog, put me in the corner promising to let me out if I was good, so I was good, and then it never let me out of the corner. Suddenly it was just friggin over and I was left there, QUITE unsatisfied and knowing that some unseen writer somewhere had purposefully USED me and taken my money. I was SO disappointed...couldn't even stop saying "I can't believe it" out loud until some 30 minutes later, and now a day after I'm STILL thinking it! The plot had at least 7 points where some decently exciting turn or twist could have occurred; but no.
This movie is lame, lame, lame. Lame cubed. Lame times some logorithmic googol number to the nth degree. Unless you're truly a depressed self-masochist whose only hold on reality and life is when other people (or movies) use and abuse you, do NOT let yourself see this movie, at least not at theater prices. It will do you harm, possibly irrepairable harm.
Sheesh, any 3rd grader with half an imagination and a bottle of model glue could've written a better movie than this. The main character's last name was Noone, and his radio show motto was "This is Noone, at Night". AUGH! NOONE, HUH? What a COINCIDENCE that he's a talk show host at NIGHT. Sheesh, Hollywood, did NOBODY see what I saw? Okay, I'm done ranting. Promise.
Just my take.
Doug out.
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Re: Review of "Night Listener"
No, really, what did you really think? Ha ha.
I'll make sure to miss this. The worst one I've seen lately is The Brothers Grimm. No one should watch this unless they are sound asleep and then they are still wasting their time.
I'll make sure to miss this. The worst one I've seen lately is The Brothers Grimm. No one should watch this unless they are sound asleep and then they are still wasting their time.
Posted by Pearl on August 16, 2006 at 1:25 PM
Re: Review of "Night Listener"
the movie wasnt great but it was way way way better than what you were describing probably a 7/10 for it's genre and a 6.5 overall, i think you will tend to find that more people would agree with me than you
Posted by alex on August 24, 2007 at 7:14 AM
Re: Review of "Night Listener"
Alex, all I can do is wag my head and wonder WHAT in the world you found in that movie that you could even REMOTELY see as being believable. Well, besides the gayness that was there..that happens every day. Other than that, you mention "for it's genre"...what on earth genre could a movie with a storyline like this possibly fall into? It wasn't scary, it wasn't sad, it wasn't funny...gawd, it was absolutely nothingness on a stick.
Now, having said all that, I am also an individual who is unable to find pleasure watching football as well, and yet I'm told by some smart people who actually enjoy watching the sport that there are things about it to be appreciated. Perhaps you were one of those few people of vision who actually harbored the ability to find entertainment value from this movie; maybe my "chaotic-plot-laced-with-gayness-and-dying-soon-to-be-published-children-who -THEMSELVES-may-not-even-exist!" pleasure bone is just broken. I dunno.
But thanks for taking the time to comment! I sincerely do appreciate that.
Doug :0)
Now, having said all that, I am also an individual who is unable to find pleasure watching football as well, and yet I'm told by some smart people who actually enjoy watching the sport that there are things about it to be appreciated. Perhaps you were one of those few people of vision who actually harbored the ability to find entertainment value from this movie; maybe my "chaotic-plot-laced-with-gayness-and-dying-soon-to-be-published-children-who -THEMSELVES-may-not-even-exist!" pleasure bone is just broken. I dunno.
But thanks for taking the time to comment! I sincerely do appreciate that.
Doug :0)
Posted by dougboude on August 24, 2007 at 5:35 PM
Re: Review of "Night Listener"
I forgot about your warning and I watched the movie! I don't have a lot of time to spend watching movies so when I do and it's over and I'm sitting there saying why or why did I waste my time watching this, I get very frustrated. I'm going to have to make notes about the movies I don't want to see. Well, you warned me. I forgot.
Posted by Pearl on April 15, 2008 at 5:26 PM

